Vacation for the boys
by lazywriter123
Summary: An Office Retreat is something we never enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Vacation for the Boys

I always wondered about how the guys in Criminal Minds would be like on one of those office retreats. I was in on once for school years ago and I think it's a fun idea to play on.

Enjoy

"Ok, I want to thank you all for coming. Welcome to Camp Packwood! Here you will spend time to learn about your coworkers on a more personal and emotional leave. This will not only help you in the field but also will help you explore your own feelings and insecurities." Morgan, Hotch, Reid, and Rossi were standing in a small crowd of men as the head counselor gave his small speech. "Dear God, a whole two weeks in the middle of nowhere" thought Rossi. "I can't believe Strauss made us come here" said Morgan. "Sorry guys but it's a requirement" stated Hotch. "Alright, now today after you guys finishing settling in, were going canoeing on the river for the rest of the day! See you guys in exactly one hour."

The cabin that was assumed to the team was small and had two bunk beds. "I call the top" yelled Reid. Rossi started to unpack on one of the beds when suddenly…

AAAHHHHHH!!!!

"WHAT" shouted the other men. A small mouse ran from under Rossi's feet and out the door. "Rossi it's just a mouse. Don't be so uptight" said Reid. "Yeah well, I hate mice, I hate this cabin, I hate this trip and I ABSOLUTLY HATE Strauss right now." The rest of the men unpacked in silence as Rossi muttered some pretty colorful words.

Everyone was waiting by the lake and putting on lifejackets. The head counselor walked up to them with a wide smile on his face. "Ok everyone has been assigned boats. There will be two people in each boat. Ok…Rossi and uh…Morgan in boat one. Hotch and Reid you in boat two." As the counselor assigned the other men to boats, the two pairs got into the boats and started to row away from shore. The road down the river for about fifteen minutes and Reid was already having trouble. "Come on Reid can't you row any faster" asked Hotch. "Sorry Hotch, I don't have much upper body strength." Suddenly their boat hit a rock and Reid was sent overboard. "Don't worry Reid I'll get you" shouted Morgan as he dived into the water. Hotch paddled towards Reid and both Morgan and him helped Reid back onto the boat. "Thanks guys". For the rest of the trip Reid was soaked to the bone.

"Achoo", Reid continued to sneeze into the tissue and he shivered in his blanket back at the cabin. "Great now Reid has a cold, what a wonderful way to start our vacation" said Rossi. "Hey I didn't ask to fall into the water. I'll feel better in the morning." Hotch walked up to Rossi, "Look I know you're not happy about being here but let's make the best of this ok, and don't take your frustration out on Reid." Rossi nodded "Fine. I'm sorry Reid. Do you need any more tissues or some water?" "No thank you but I'm tired." The men got into their beds and turned off the light.


	2. Chapter 2

Vacation for the boys chapter 2

I still don't own Criminal Minds.

Enjoy chapter 2

The next morning the men got up for breakfast at around eight o' clock. They ate eggs and bacon with juice, in the big cafeteria in the center of camp. After they finished the head counselor came into the room.

"Good morning everyone, I hope you all slept well. Today were all going to the big campfire area to do some bonding exercises for the rest of the morning. So please make your way there in a few minutes."

Once everyone was there, a middle-aged woman walked up wearing feathers in her hair.

"Hello everyone today will make the bonds you have with your coworkers. So first I want to all to hold hands with the men on either side of you."

"Huh" said Morgan.

"Oh hell no" said Rossi.

"You men over there please hold each other's hands" she said while pointing at them.

They did as they were told.

"This is every awkward" said Reid as he and Hotch held each other's hand.

"Ok now I want you to get really close to the man to your left" said the woman.

Reid and Hotch reluctantly scooted closer and so did Rossi and Morgan.

"Good now I want to look into each other's eyes and don't break that contact for a few minutes."

"Ok I'm done" said Rossi and stormed off.

"Sir if this uncomfortable for you then you won't pass for your requirement at BAU and get demoted."

**Thirty minutes later**

Rossi is holding Morgan's hand while staring into his eyes.

"Great job everyone will continue our exercises tomorrow. Go and have lunch.

They four men walked back to the cafeteria.

They ate in silence and looked at each other.

"Do you guys think it's too late to highjack a car and get out of here?"

"Very funny Morgan" said Reid.

"Guys seriously how could this possibly get any worse?"

The head counselor came into the room.

"Everyone at the end of lunch were all going to the nature cabin to sing songs about togetherness and then tell each other how we truly feel about each other".

"Rossi…stabbing yourself with a plastic knife isn't going to help you now."

Please review. Thanks


	3. Chapter 3

VACA Part 3

I don't own Criminal Minds

"Ok everyone, time for the next song. _Oh there was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was in name-o_. Come on everyone sing."

Morgan was quietly singing and Reid, next to him, was silent.

Hotch was bored out of his mind, but Rossi was steaming and thinking of ways to off the head counselor quickly and quietly.

"Since some of you are not really singing, I want you guys to come up and use this tambourines to help get the music flowing. So…Rossi, Hotch, Reid and Morgan, please come up."

The four men walked up to the small platform and took the instruments.

"Let's all sing together now. _B-I-N-G-O…"_

Later that night, the guys went back to the cabin. "I can't take it here anymore" said Reid.

"Me too kid, we still have a few more days unfortunately" said Morgan.

**The Next Day**

"Ok everyone; hope you all had a good night sleep because we are going on a hike today."

Rossi groaned and wished an airplane would fall on his head or something.

After an hour or so, the men were walking in the woods with the head counselor leading them. Soon it started to rain and the counselor said that it would "wash away" any bad emotions or anxieties.

"Why can't he wash away" said Rossi.

"Rossi, don't be so rude, it's still a beautiful forest, with birds, insects and…"

"" screamed Morgan as a vicious raccoon latched itself on his face.

"…and raccoons too."

Everyone was back in the cabin.

Reid helped Morgan dab cleaning alcohol on the wounds on his neck and forehead.

"I HATE nature" said Morgan as the disinfectant stung his cuts.

"God this can't get any worse."

"Oh yes it can Reid, I overheard the head counselor…were going to do a play for the senior citizens home on the last day of camp. The play is Romeo and Juliet" said Hotch.

"But were all guys at this camp."

"I know."

Please Review!!!!! Oh and Vote for the Poll on my profile please.


	4. Chapter 4

VACA part 4

I don't own Criminal Minds.

I don't know all the lines to _Romeo and Juliet_. I'll look them up but if I make an error just bare with me k. Also I skipping through and using only a few scenes.

Enjoy

**The Last Day of the Retreat**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, today from Camp Packwood, we bring you a wonderful performance by our camp members. _Romeo and Juliet_! Our Romeo is Aaron Hotchner; Juliet is played by Spencer Reid, David Rossi is playing as the nurse, and Derek Morgan is Friar Lawrence. Please Enjoy."

Rossi is wearing a white dress with a white nurse hat on.

Reid is wearing a purple flowing dress with his hair in a ponytail and (you're not going to believe is) make-up and nail polish.

**Nurse (Rossi)** - Peace, I have done. God mark thee to his grace!  
Thou wast the prettiest babe that e'er I nursed:  
An I might live to see thee married once,  
I have my wish.

**Lady Capulet (played by some other guy)** - Marry, that 'marry' is the very theme  
I came to talk of. Tell me, daughter Juliet,  
How stands your disposition to be married?

**Juliet (Reid) - **It is an honour that I dream not of.

**Nurse (Rossi) - **An honour! were not I thine only nurse,  
I would say thou hadst suck'd wisdom from thy teat.

Hotch and Morgan were giggling backstage.

Hotch is wearing a red shirt with a leather vest his brown pants o just below the knees. He has on red tights and leather shoes.

Reid is still wearing the same dress.

It's the famous balcony scene between Romeo and Juliet.

**Romeo (Hotch)** - But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

(Fast forward)

Would through the airy region stream so bright  
That birds would sing and think it were not night.  
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!  
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,  
That I might touch that cheek!

**Juliet (Reid) **- O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?  
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;  
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,  
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Last scene with Juliet, Friar and the "dead" Romeo

Friar Lawrence (Morgan) is wearing a monks robe with a large cross around is neck.

**Juliet (Reid)- **O comfortable friar! where is my lord?  
I do remember well where I should be,  
And there I am. Where is my Romeo?

**Friar Lawrence (Morgan)-** Come, come away.  
Thy husband in thy bosom there lies dead

**Juliet(Reid)- **What's here? a cup, closed in my true love's hand?  
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end:  
O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop  
To help me after? I will kiss thy lips;  
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,  
To make die with a restorative.

Reid leans in and kisses Hotch with a gentle kiss.

Hotch opens one eye to look at Reid and then at Morgan and Rossi offstage.

Morgan was in shock and Rossi fainted.

**Juliet (Reid) **- Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger! This is thy sheath;

there rust, and let me die.

Reid pretends to stab himself and falls to the ground.

After the play ended the four men were packing up to go home is silence.

Hotch and Reid couldn't even look at each other.

"Ok look guys; let's just forget it ever happened. It was just a play" said Rossi, finally breaking the awkwardness. They all nodded in agreement.

The ride home was actually pretty nice. They all joked and laughed.

"I can't believe I got attacked by a raccoon" said Morgan.

"I can't believe I kissed my boss" said Reid.

Everyone burst into laughter. Tears streamed down Hotch's face for laughing to hard.

**Four Hours Later **

The four men were back home and decided to meet the girls at a local diner.

The girls greeted them with hugs and asked them about the trip.

"You girls are never going to believe what happened."

Suddenly Garcia looked at Hotch curiously.

"Hey Hotch…why do you have lipstick on your face?"


End file.
